Unexpected Friends by Matthew Epperson

A simple post card to a prisoner can mean so much.

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Last night, when they pass out mail here, I recieved a very peculiar postcard from Brazil. A man named Tiago, who is a Catholic missionary and does outreach to the prisons in Sao Paulo, wrote on his postcard that he was a fan of my blog and that he was particularly found of my post labeled, ‘A New Love’. Tiago, if you are reading this, I just want you to know that the time you took to sit down and write that, plus the postage you footed to send it, was well spent and impacted me in an indescribable manner. ‘Thank you’ doesn’t seem to do justice for what you did. I had come to a bleak point in my incarceration and your postcard was the enabling benefactor that helped me break through my dismay. My gratitude is suppressed to this blog, but I had to share this…

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Hard Outer Shells and a Delicious Seed

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Probably like you, I like nuts  A nut is encased in a hard outer shell but the seed inside is softer, edible and tasty.  Most of the nuts we enjoy have protein, healthy fats, important nutrients, and most importantly, energy.  (We especially like to eat Brazilian nuts.)

Like nuts, the prisoners we meet with in São Paulo’s prisons often have a hard outer shell that is difficult to crack open and peek inside  The opening process takes time and effort but in the end is well worth it.

One method to cracking open that hard exterior of prisoners is to encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings through writing.  If you have been following my blog for a while you know that some of the foreign women we meet have been sharing their reflections with you.  They are always so delighted when I visit and tell them about their posts on Tiago’s Mission Tales.

This week I will have especially good news for Fifi and Dawn who shared poems and reflections with you on this site.  Their writings were recently shared on another very popular blog called Inmate Blogger (https://inmateblogger.com).  Since then, the posts have received many more Likes and Comments which I will share with them when I next visit.

Inmate Blogger is “ready to become the worldwide leader in inmate blogging and is a collection of blogs written by inmates. It serves as a platform which allows them to share their individual stories, opinions, talents, and their inner thoughts. You can lock up a man (or woman), but you can’t lock up their mind. We support, understand, and believe that writing can be a great source of rehabilitation, growth, and healing.

I have enjoyed reading the powerful words from prisoners on Inmate Blogger and I encourage you to visit the website if you enjoy this type of writing, reflecting and sharing.

Like opening and removing the shell of a hard nut, the writing process for these men and women can reveal a softer and delicious seed inside.  The seeds are healthy and energy-filled for all of us and I would like to thank Inmate Blogger for sharing these seeds with a wider audience.

Abraçoes!  (Hugs)

Tiago

 

Depression by Fifi

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(This is the 7th in a series of refections by women prisoners in Brazil and the third by Fifi.  In this reflection, Fifi shares her feelings on depression and more importantly how she can help others with their own depression.  Please think about and pray for the author “Fifi” and all the depressed women in São Paulo’s prisons.  Fifi has given her permission to share her reflection via this blog post although her name has been changed.

If you are inspired to comment on Fifi’s reflections, please add a supportive note in the comment section below and I will ensure she gets your comment.  

What is depression?  I have no idea but I experience it with a lot of “ups and downs.”

One moment I am happy and the next moment angry…and sad.  There are many feelings of pressure on both my body and mind; sadness, anger, frustration, happiness, disappointment…all in my mind as well.

The only way to handle it is to find a way to stay calm and talk to somebody.  Other ways to stay calm are by writing and coloring.  Everyone has their own way. And a lot of people (in prison) don’t dare to come out of their depression, because there is no need.

Also, here you can come out from your depression, but it takes some time.  And once you are out of it, and you are your “old self” again, you can be proud of yourself.  And you must be stronger!

So I want to tell everyone who has the same depression, “Don’t be ashamed of yourself.  You are not alone.”

I wannna ask those people to write something about their depression and their experience so we can share together and (work) to achieve to be better in life.

Deus e Fiel

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God and Faithful.  Another beautiful work of art from one of the Brazilian women we meet with in a São Paulo prison.  Although she is living in very difficult circumstances, Glaucia, has tremendous faith in God and the gospel.

It was especially appropriate that she gave me this drawing this weekend because Sunday’s first reading was from Genesis 9 describing how God established His covenant with us and sent a rainbow as a sign of that covenant.

In our reflection, after we read the liturgy, we were reminded that the faith that these women demonstrate in prison is a sign for us too.  A sign that God’s presence is everywhere and his covenant is still with us today.

I even learned the Portuguese word for rainbow during this reflection…of course I still can’t pronounce it properly yet.  Arco Iris!

Please pray for these women who continue to show and practice their deep faith in the words of the gospel and the hope for a better life.

The Loss of a Loved One by Fifi

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(Tiago’s note–This is the sixth in a series of refections by women prisoners in Brazil and the second by Fifi.  The women have given their permission for this blog post although their names have been changed.  In this reflection, Fifi shares the feeling of loss after losing her one-week old son shortly before coming to prison.  Please think about and pray for the author “Fifi” and her angel.  Pray for the thousands of women in prisons who also desperately miss their loved ones.)

When you lose a loved one, it is very painful.  It is like they take a piece away from your life.  For some, its easier to get over than another; everyone is different.  The pain will never go away, but you will learn to live with and handle it.

The moment the person you lose is going to heaven, it is better but still very painful for the loved ones left behind.  Everybody handles the grieving process differently.

In your mind, you know its better that your loved one has gone to heaven, but in your heart you want something else.  Your loved one has no more pain and can be happy in heaven; away from your life they are actually nearer.  I know that I will always have the new angel with me and he will watch over me.

Christmas Masses in São Paulo Prisons

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We had a wonderful 2017 Christmas season serving in the prisons of São Paulo.  Maryknoll Lay Missioners participated in at least 14 Christmas-style masses during Advent.  For most of the men and women we meet in the Brazilian prisons, these celebration are the only mass and eucharist they will have all year.  There are not enough priests to have regular mass in the over 25 different cellblocks we are allowed to visit.

Normally, the masses are held in the small prison cells.  It is crowded, noisy, and very hot.  However, the masses were very well attended and extremely joyful as it gives the prisoners some time to reflect on the meaning of Advent and Christmas; prepare not only for another year in their very dark place, but more importantly, prepare for life on the outside.

At the end of each mass, we would sing O Come All Ye Faithful in English for them.  One of the priests we regularly visit is Italian and he loves to sing this song with us.  The prisoners’ eyes would light up at the sound of our off-key voices; they love hearing the English language.  It was especially meaningful when they joined us in singing the final Latin versus of “Venite Adoremus, Venite Adoremu, Venite Adoremu, Dominum”

We then asked them to sing a Brazilian Christmas song for us.  Normally it was Noite Feliz (Silent Night).  Here are the lyrics:

Noite feliz, noite feliz
Ó senhor, Deus de amor
Pobrezinho nasceu em Belém
Eis na lapa Jesus, nosso bem
Dorme em paz, ó Jesus
Dorme em paz, ó Jesus

Noite feliz, noite feliz
Ó Jesus, deus da luz
Quão afável é teu coração
Que quiseste nascer nosso irmão
E a nós todos salvar
E a nós todos salvar

Noite feliz, noite feliz
Eis que no ar vem cantar
Aos pastores, seus anjos no céu
Anunciando a chegada de Deus
De Jesus salvador
De Jesus salvador

Please continue to reflect and pray for the incarcerated who struggle mightily during these important religious seasons.

A Place for Us by Fifi

(Tiago’s note–This is the fifth in a series of refections by women prisoners in Brazil.  The women have given their permission for this blog post although their names have been changed. 

In this reflection, Fifi shares the feeling she has being incarcerated shortly after losing her one-week old son.  Please think about and pray for the deceased child, the author “Fifi” and the other women in prisons throughout the world.  Let’s ask Him to provide them with the strength to carry on in these dark places.)

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To be a human is to feel pain, sadness, happiness, and love. But for me, feeling like a human sucks.

If I could go to heaven, I would tell my son how much I love him, I miss him, and ask him how he is doing.  I would ask him if he is happy and if he is proud of me for doing everything I could do until his last breath.

I also wanna tell him how proud I am of him, how he fought for his life, but it was not meant to be, to be a (long) life.

Then I want to come back to earth and live a life like a normal human being.  This is what it feels like to be a human right now for me.