(Tiago’s note–This is the sixth in a series of refections by women prisoners in Brazil and the second by Fifi. The women have given their permission for this blog post although their names have been changed. In this reflection, Fifi shares the feeling of loss after losing her one-week old son shortly before coming to prison. Please think about and pray for the author “Fifi” and her angel. Pray for the thousands of women in prisons who also desperately miss their loved ones.)
When you lose a loved one, it is very painful. It is like they take a piece away from your life. For some, its easier to get over than another; everyone is different. The pain will never go away, but you will learn to live with and handle it.
The moment the person you lose is going to heaven, it is better but still very painful for the loved ones left behind. Everybody handles the grieving process differently.
In your mind, you know its better that your loved one has gone to heaven, but in your heart you want something else. Your loved one has no more pain and can be happy in heaven; away from your life they are actually nearer. I know that I will always have the new angel with me and he will watch over me.
(Tiago’s note–This is the fifth in a series of refections by women prisoners in Brazil. The women have given their permission for this blog post although their names have been changed.
In this reflection, Fifi shares the feeling she has being incarcerated shortly after losing her one-week old son. Please think about and pray for the deceased child, the author “Fifi” and the other women in prisons throughout the world. Let’s ask Him to provide them with the strength to carry on in these dark places.)
To be a human is to feel pain, sadness, happiness, and love. But for me, feeling like a human sucks.
If I could go to heaven, I would tell my son how much I love him, I miss him, and ask him how he is doing. I would ask him if he is happy and if he is proud of me for doing everything I could do until his last breath.
I also wanna tell him how proud I am of him, how he fought for his life, but it was not meant to be, to be a (long) life.
Then I want to come back to earth and live a life like a normal human being. This is what it feels like to be a human right now for me.
“Hello, thank you for your message, when you are in touch and see “my daughter”, I feel calmer.”
Sometimes, I believe, the families of the foreign women we meet in their prison have it the hardest.
Please pray for the anxious parents.