(The final of four new reflections from a Dutch women in a São Paulo prison. We call her Fifi. In this reflection, she keeps alive the memory of her son, Mikai who died within a week of his birth. Please pray for the Fifi and her son Mikai. Please also keep the incarcerated women in São Paulo’s prisons in your prayers. Fifi has given her permission to share her reflection via this blog post although her name has been changed.)
Sometimes I am looking back to the worst moment (of my life) the death of my son and depression. Then I start thinking; Wow, was I in my depression.
It is hard to lose your child and keep asking “Why?” and “Why me?”
I know now that he is healthy/happy and being taking care of. Even if he is not here anymore, he is with me every moment of the day. He is watching over me in my dreams, at work, everywhere I am. One day I will be together with him and we will be a family again.
Him and God give me the power to get out of my depression. I am thankful for that
Now I am only thinking about the nice moments we had together. Today I am laughing and not crying.
I am proud to be your mommy and to be called mommy (by you.) Thank you Mikai, my beautiful son. I love you!